So I sent Annette, The Nearly Perfect Wife and EO, up the mast this afternoon. Couldn't get her to go 'just because', so I told her there was a coupon from Neiman Marcus stuck to the fly. When she got up there it was gone, but she decided she liked it up in the wind, judging by the way she hugged the mast and wrapped her legs all round it. Tried to coax her down with a banana, a half-eaten Pop-Tart and a warm beer. She said something about kicking something but I couldn't hear her for all the wind coming in from that tropical depression working in from the Gulf. Once I got tired of holding the halyard, she came down pretty quick, though.
The Captain.